Why and how did you make my life rock so hard? Seriously, I know sometimes I don’t appreciate my life and see all of the bright spots in it, but right now? Right now I am freaking BLINDED.
I’ve been thinking lately about life, and how significant yet insignificant I am. Since moving back to the United States, I have been a bit thrown off by the at times-unfriendly vibes I get from my fellow Americans. For my first few weeks back, that really got me down. But now I’ve decided to follow the rules of karma, and realize my impact. Nothing good will come from taking the negative energy I might receive and passing it on to others. Instead, I’m going to take the dirty, danky, nasty energy, throw some spit on it til it shines, and pass something beautiful on to others. Even if it’s just a smile that bewilders a stranger, or throwing ridiculous amounts of change in the tip jar at a coffee shop, I will make a difference. Maybe I won’t get to experience its benefits, but I know I’ll get some selfish sense of fulfillment from having passed on something good.
Just to clear up any confusion on how awesome life is, let me count a few of my blessings:
– I just got back from spending four months in a country went from initially scaring the living daylights out of me, to leaving me longing to return AsSoonAsPossible. During my time there I made some amazing friends, realized what an incredible life I had waiting for me back home, saw some of the most beautiful places I’ve ever laid my eyes on, and realized just how capable of an individual I am. Never before have I appreciated more my beautiful, functional mind and body that work so perfectly in synchrony and have given me the ability to accomplish so much. I was able to climb mountains, switch between two languages without a hitch (eventually) and make so much sense of another culture that it became a part of myself.
– I have an amazing support system. Going to Peru and having to start COMPLETELY fresh, without anyone who has ever known me, was intimidating, to say the least. Somehow I made myself matter to new people, and got a lot of new people to matter in my life. And what makes me fall over ass-backward at my luck is that I have the best of both worlds now – newfound friends who luckily go to my university, and old friends who are still here and waiting for me. I thank my lucky stars every time someone reaches out to me, because it lets me know I am as significant to someone as they are to me. On top of all this, my family was incredibly supportive throughout my time abroad, and, being an idiot, when I got back I simply forgot about them. That’s right, FORGOT! Luckily I remembered how much I missed them and am now doing my best to let them know how much I appreciate them. There’s also that teeny fact that my boyfriend and I studied abroad simultaneously, and made it through this semester with flying colors. We are still figuring out the new parts of each other’s personalities, but it will take years to share our stories from this semester, and in the meantime we are having an absolute blast re-getting to know each other, and appreciate every second together after four months apart. So, yeah – HELLO RELATIONAL SIDE OF LIFE AND THANK YOU FOR BEING SO FREAKING AWESOME.
– I just realized it sounds like I’m bragging. To be profound, sometimes I get hit by these unavoidable, totally overwhelming bursts of LIFE IS AWESOME. This is one of those moments. I don’t mean to sound uppity, and I’m not trying to push lifeisawesome in your face. I guess I’m just re-realizing (like I should every freakin day) how many good things I have going for me, and I’d like to document it for posterity. Is posterity even the right word? Who cares. I hope at the very least maybe my excitement about and acknowledgement of all the awesome things I have going for me in my life helps YOU to realize all the awesomeness in your own. Have I said awesome enough yet? Okay, one last time for good measure: AWESOME!
Oh yeah, I was supposed to explain my 2010 goal words today. Somehow I’m just not feelin it today either, though. Maybe tomorrow. For now, here are the three words, with a cute little accompanying illustration to come tomorrow. I PROMISE!
Three words for 2010: Active. Savy. CareerDev. (shut up, I know CareerDev is a stretch at best [for being one word])
So, in closing (since this is an address to the Universe, mixed in with an address to my imaginary readers) – thanks, Universe, for bestowing upon me so many awesome things. I hope I aprovechar (make the most of) my incredibly privileged situation and make you proud!
Note from Feb 1, 2010: In retrospect, I am clearly channeling two of my favorite bloggers, though they have completely different tones. Susan Pogorzelski (twenty(or)something) frequently has profound interactions with the Universe, and Jamie Varon (A Life in Translation) is all about the CAPS and elation. Both vivacious ladies who inspire me with every word they write.