Enjoying the process

The idea popped into my head a few months ago. Walking as fast as my short legs could carry me down the street, I stopped short at the smell of fresh flowers blooming on a nearby tree. That led me to wonder how many other subtle beauties I was missing out on, simply by rushing from place to place without taking time to enjoy the process of getting there.

The last few months, as I’ve subtly (and, okay, not-so-subtly, at times) alluded to, have been full of transitions – some transitions were expected, others blindsided me. The more I think about it, though, the more I realize that life is a constantly shifting series of transitions. As soon as you are accustomed to one thing, another changes, and you begin to adjust again.

Rather than looking at the changes and transitions with disdain, as my routine-loving-self used to, I am making a conscious effort to change my outlook to something more positive. Rather than hating how much time I spend on my own, I remind myself to enjoy this solitude and make the most of it now. I’m certain there will be moments in the future when I’d give anything to have a night to myself or some peace and quiet, both of which I have an abundance of right now. Rather than longing for the pre-planned, linear schedule school provided me with for countless years, I am working to appreciate the uncertainty of my future and see it as a big, beautiful ball of potential that I can push in any number of directions.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to parade my newfound attitude around like it’s a fool-proof plan. I still have many many moments of uncertainty and discomfort, but I am (oh-so-slowly) learning to lean into those times instead of avoiding them. When I embrace the awkward moments, I find I learn more about myself and am forced to grow in a way that I never was when I played it safe. They aren’t called growing pains for nothing – growing can be a painful, grueling process, but the rewards of fresh perspective and happiness make the pain worth it for me most days.

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